Question:
Why do children behave certain ways? What outside influences affect child development and behavior?
Parents
Culture
Social Environment
Child Psychology:
Why Kids Do What They Do
By Bethany Bolsen
Have you ever wondered what makes us do the things we do? Why do we all behave differently? Are we reacting solely out of animal instinct or are there reasons behind our tendencies? The way we think, react, and interpret the world around us is entirely a result of the experiences and backgrounds that begin to influence us as children.
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Child psychology is the study of how children think, act, and react, as well as the factors that influence their way of thinking and their personalities. According to Katherine Nelson, author of
Young Minds in Social Worlds, “From infancy to school entry at age six, a child changes radically in many dimensions.”[1] In her work on child psychology, Nelson explores how different aspects of child development relate and interact with each other. As in Figure 1, her findings indicate that virtually
every part of our development is connected to other areas in various ways, and each of these aspects influences the others.[2] This exploration of the developmental and behavioral aspects of childhood is also part of the study of child psychology. In her article Child Psychology, Explained: Context and Important Things to Consider, Kendra Cherry explains the numerous parts of a child’s life that are explored by child psychologists in order to understand behavior and development. These include “self-esteem, school, parenting, social pressures, and other subjects.”[3] Cherry states that interactions with adults as well as peers influence a child’s thinking, and she also points out the importance of culture, socioeconomic status, and family life in the child’s learning and development.
Humans have obvious biological needs that translate into instincts needed for our survival, but we also have somewhat less apparent psychological needs that induce additional instincts, such as the need to feel safe and secure. In her article What Drives Kids to Act the Way They Do? Nancy Buck explains that children have five main psychological needs: "love and belonging, power, fun, and freedom.”[4] The existence of these needs and the meeting of them drives kids’ responses to and interactions with the world around them. Self-esteem, school, parenting, and social pressures are all areas in which these needs and the attempt to meet them are made manifest. Cherry also agrees when she states, “Relationships with peers and adults have an effect on how children think, learn, and develop. Families, schools, and peer groups all make up an important part of the social context.[5]" All of these factors, from family and friends to culture, influence how kids think and behave.
One aspect causing the most extensive change in a child’s thinking is his background. Each individual person has thousands of small details and experiences that together form what one would call his background. These differences can be anything from the climate lived in to the religion practiced, but every part of our background -- culture, economic status, social class, religion, geographical positioning, and even the marital status of our parents -- forms some part of our personality. It is part of what makes us who we are. No two people have the same background, not even family members, because each one of us has our own experiences that help to form us as individuals.
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One of the most significant areas of background is culture. Culture affects how children think, act, and react. Cherry explains that in addition to affecting education and child care, “The culture a child lives in contributes a set of values, customs, shared assumptions and ways of living that
influence development throughout the lifespan.[6] There are always cultural norms such as a way of dressing or a manner of speaking, but culture goes much deeper than language and dress. It is a way of life. Each culture has its own customs that may or may not make sense to any other culture and, in
some instances, may even be offensive. Certain practices affect the way one thinks. For example, in many Asian homes, it is custom to remove one’s shoes before entering, while in many other countries, it can be somewhat offensive to remove your shoes and show your feet. This is a simple example of how culture influences custom, which in turn affects behavior. This principle also applies to how children are raised.
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First, culture usually determines what type of education a child will receive. It is a major factor in deciding whether the child goes to public school, private school, or is homeschooled. It even determines the amount and quality of education he can expect to receive. Cultures that are extremely focused on academic success, such as those evident in many Asian countries, have an entirely different educational system than, for instance, America, which has a focus on athletic as well as academic pursuits.
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Culture not only affects education and behavior, but it also dictates certain disciplinary tactics used by parents. In a scholarly article relating research which found that parent-child conflict was only connected to negative child behavior in American-born mothers, the authors state that “Different cultural backgrounds leading to different parenting beliefs and practices may explain the
contrasting relation of parent-child conflict and child behavioral problems between the two groups (children of foreign-born and U.S.-born mothers).”[7] They explained that differing discipline and behavioral expectations were presumably to blame for this difference in child behavior (demonstrated in Table 1).[8] This variance in parenting methods is also evident in an article written by Sarah Bridge debating whether parents should
tell their children “no,” as it could somehow damage their spirit or hinder their creativity.[9] The contrast between the two sides of the argument is evidence that parents in different cultural groups take completely opposite approaches when disciplining their children. Similarly, parents will also strive to instill in their children certain values and morals that are important to them and their way of life. For instance, many Arabic countries believe that women should be covered virtually from head to toe in order to be modest in the sight of others, while some island tribes still go about their daily business wearing next to nothing. In this example, the value of modesty is incredibly important to the Arabic culture, but not nearly as much in the tribal culture.
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Through all of these avenues, whether education, parenting, or disciplinary tactics, one’s culture either directly or indirectly affects a child’s thinking. His educational background will be different, so he will approach problems and situations from a specific viewpoint, and his customs are different, so he will support various actions and take offense to other actions. His childhood will be unique because he was raised differently and has grown up learning certain values that may or may not align with someone else’s. Every aspect of his life – the way he dresses, talks, and holds himself -- speaks of his culture, and therefore his background. Our culture helps to shape who we are, and it clearly affects us and our behavior, especially as children. This is because as children, the only culture that we have experienced to a large degree is our own.
While researching education and disciplinary tactics, I decided to conduct my own primary research on teachers, their methods of maintaining control of the classroom, and the behavior of their students. I surveyed five different math teachers at Crane Middle School with a variety of questions and a rating system. I then compiled the data and created Graph 1 to display my findings.
Graph 1
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Another part of our background is our social class and economic status. Cherry demonstrates how these two factors determine our opportunities to a certain degree when she states that people of a higher social class and economic status are handed certain opportunities, including “healthcare, quality nutrition, and education,” whereas people of lower class or status have to work much harder for them.[10] This has an impact on children and how they think, in that they are affected by these factors while growing up. Children born to parents of lower class or status may grow up with their parents working longer hours or being stressed more while trying to provide for the family, while children born to parents of higher status or class may have parents at home more, but also may have more expected of them.
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Finally, gender constitutes a part of the background that shapes our thinking and our lives, especially as children. From the day we are born, we are treated and raised differently based on whether we are male or female. A study was recently done on a group of African American families to determine how gender affected the relationship between a mother and her child.[11] The goal was to investigate whether the gender disparity in African American success stories is due in part to the fact
that children are treated differently while growing up because of their gender. The researchers observed the participants performing a series of tasks together and looked for certain indicators of stress, contentment, and controlling behavior. As is
indicated in Tables 2-3, they found that mothers were usually more warm and compassionate with their daughters, but they also were more demanding and
expected them to be able to accomplish more on their own than if they were sons.[12] Mothers of sons tended to be more controlling, and at times, irritable, but they did not expect as much of their sons as they would if they were daughters. This is tremendously revealing when one views the success of female
African Americans in relation to the success of their male counterparts. In many cases, because sons were more controlled as children and were not expected to perform as well, they were more likely to leave home at a relatively young age and rebel against what they felt was controlling authority. Therefore, these boys do not accomplish much because they were never expected to.
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As has been demonstrated, background and each of the various factors that go along with it greatly affect children, their behavior, and their way of thinking. However, background is not the only factor influencing child development.
Parenting is fundamental in child development. Parents are undeniably instrumental in molding a child's character and personality. They are the ones who usually teach a child to walk, talk, and interact with the world around them. Therefore, every single part of a child's life is influenced by his parents and how they do things. For instance, we all speak the same language as our parents or whoever raised us. We copy their mannerisms and their responses. There are several specific ways in which children are influenced by their parents.
Children are significantly affected by both parents, but arguably more so by their mothers than their fathers. Numerous studies have been done to prove that a mother’s presence, voice, touch, and
teaching all play major roles in a child’s development. For instance, a study was done to show that lullabies sung by mothers to their babies help to shape the child’s personality and develop his education and social skills, as well as introduce him to musical elements, words, and various aspects of social
interaction.[13] The basis of this claim involves investigating the touch, voice, and presence of the mother with her child. It was also found, in a different study, that when substitutionary child care is implemented in place of maternal care, the child’s cognitive development is hindered, especially if that child care is supplied by extended relatives, such as siblings or grandparents. In other words, when a child is put in a daycare or is babysat for the majority of the time, the child’s mental and social development is hindered. The research results showed that achievement test scores decreased by 2.1% after only one year of substitutional child care.[14] This demonstrates how actual time spent between mother and child is irreplaceable.
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The main way in which children learn from their parents is through imitation. As soon as kids are born, they begin to imitate the people around them. This is essential to learning new skills, whether motor or language-oriented. In her article, What Your Child Learns By Imitating You, Chana Steifel, a mother and journalist, explains that although children do not always understand what they are imitating, their actions mark small steps towards independence.[15]
Through imitation, children learn to talk, walk, play, and even fight. If one were to watch a small child for any amount of time, he would see him emulating adults in his life, especially his parents. It is completely normal for one to see a child talking on a pretend phone, driving a pretend car, or packing a bag and going to his pretend job. Even when playing with toys, one can easily see the imitation taking place. When kids play with dolls or play house, they began to tell a story of the life of their dolls or their "family." This story greatly reflects their home life and how they view certain situations. Children of single parents will most likely only have one parent in this pretend family, and kids whose mothers stay home with them will likely not play their "mother" as one who goes to work.
This imitation can also be seen in the way children interact with one another. If their parents fight a lot, the children are more likely to struggle in getting along with their peers. These children will usually be timid and shy or they will vent their frustration and anger by frequently fighting with others or bullying them. Their stressful home life certainly hinders these children mentally and socially.
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Children’s responses to certain stimuli are generally similar to their parents’ responses. For instance, if a parent is easily angered by slow drivers, his child can likely be observed becoming frustrated with small things, such as a child using the toy he wanted to play with or cutting in front of him in line. However, if his parents are more mellow and not easily disturbed by circumstances, the child is more likely to accept uncontrollable situations.
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According to Lisa Nalven, a developmental and behavioral pediatrician, "Imitation is vital to the development of abilities ranging from language to social skills.”[16] Without the ability to imitate others, children would be severely limited in their ability to learn new things. If their parents did not
parents did not show them how to do things, they would never learn to talk, walk, or interact with others. They would end up speaking some sort of unintelligible gibberish because they never had any human sounds or mouth movements to imitate. They would never learn how to walk because they would never think to do it without seeing others,
and their social skills would be nonexistent because they never would have had any kind of interaction with other humans. Children learn many skills by imitating, and their parents are the primary people whom they imitate.
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Children are not only affected by their parents through imitation, however. They are influenced by their parents' feelings and actions as well. For instance, kids perceive emotions, whether they be stress, depression, joy, sadness, or fear. I know that in my own life, when my mom is stressed out, the whole house is usually in chaos. It is not necessarily because of anything she is doing, but rather, her emotion is picked up on by us kids and it affects our moods. We soon become stressed and snappy, and our responses tend to be more curt and heartless. All of this can happen without my mom having to say or do anything. It happens simply because we pick up on her mood, many times without even realizing it. The same thing happens when she gets excited about something. We all get excited about it too, even if it does not really affect us personally. We are simply influenced by my mom’s emotions and mood.
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Kids certainly pick up on emotions because when their parents are stressed or depressed the children become anxious, and when parents are joyful and excited, the kids are happy and excited too. Recently, two studies were done to determine how maternal depression and stress affects child behavior. In one study, each mother was rated by her depression level, and her child’s behavior was then observed for the first five years of his life.[17] At the age of five, each child was then given the “Peabody Picture Vocabulary Test (PPVT)… which measures children's verbal ability,” and were interviewed about different aspects of the home life.[18] As is demonstrated in Table 4, the researchers found that a mother's depression does, in fact, cause negative behavioral changes in her
children, including detrimental internalizing or externalizing behaviors. Somewhat surprisingly, boys were found to be affected by their mothers' depression levels more than girls were. The other study investigated how conflict in the parent-child relationship is connected to parenting stress and negative child behavior, while considering cultural and socioeconomic status as well. The researchers interviewed the teachers and mothers of 236 preschoolers about child behavioral problems and parenting stress levels.[19] Their findings indicated that parenting stress was indeed connected to conflict in the parent-child relationship, however, negative child behavior in connection with conflict was only observed in the mothers born in America. Children of foreign-born mothers did not show this correlation. This finding supports an earlier point about how culture affects child behavior.
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Not only do children perceive emotions and ultimately change their behavior in response to them, but they also interpret emotions differently based on their backgrounds. Another study was done with both foster children and birthchildren to determine if there were any behavioral differences on the child's part in relation to the parents, especially during any kind of conflict[20]. The researchers found that both foster children and birthchildren put effort into building and maintaining a solid relationship with their parents, but how they went about it differed greatly. Foster children were more likely to pull away, especially during moments of stress or conflict, while birthchildren were more likely to go to their parents and address the issue directly in order to get their way or find a compromise. This is a result of fear on the part of the foster children. They are not as secure in their position in the family as birthchildren are, and sometimes do not feel entitled to stating their dissenting opinion or fighting for what they want. On the other hand, most birthchildren are secure in their position and in their relationships with their parents and therefore have no problem stating their needs and wishes, even if they do not agree with the adult's decision. They are willing to try to work out a compromise, and at times even manipulate their parents into giving them their way. The study also found that "minor conflicts can trigger more violent emotions in foster children than in birthchildren, and children in foster care are more likely to isolate themselves or respond "aggressively” when encountering friction or discord than birthchildren are.[21] Forty-nine percent of foster children were found to internalize negative emotion rather than try to resolve issues, while fifteen percent of the foster children responded aggressively in an act of self-preservation. The simple fact of who their biological parents are determines these kids’ responses to any kind of conflict.
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The idea of how parents view their children affects kids in so many different ways. A study was done in a group of children with cancer in order to determine how a parent's "higher perceived child vulnerability" and the resulting "parental overprotection" influenced his child's "health-related quality of life (HRQOL).”[22] In other words, the researchers were investigating the connection between parents’ view of their children -- whether they thought they were extremely vulnerable or not --
and their overprotection of their child in relation to the quality of life experienced by the child. The researchers found that “overprotective behavior and perceptions of vulnerability” were displayed by fifteen to twenty-five percent of the parents involved in the study, described lower HRQOL in their children.[23] This
correlation between perceived child vulnerability and lower quality of life is evidence that a parent’s view of his child, as well as his responses, in accordance with that view, affects his child tremendously, to the point of affecting the child’s overall quality of life.
Another study investigated the “parental underestimation” and “overestimation” of their child’s “exposure to violence.”[26] In this study, the researchers were observing how parents view their child’s “exposure to violence” and whether that view was exaggerated or the parents were not fully aware of the true level of violence that the child was experiencing. According to the study, the children’s psychological and social health was negatively affected by the “parental underestimation” but not “overestimation” of their “exposure to violence.” In other words, when parents do not realize how violent their children’s atmosphere actually is, children are psychologically and socially harmed or impaired. However, if parents are overprotective of their children and assume the violence level to be greater than it actually is, their children are not affected either positively or negatively. This finding is important because it demonstrates not only how violence affects children’s thinking and behavior but also how parental perceptions dictate their responses, and that, in turn, influences their children’s behavior.
Children are impacted by their parents’ thoughts and decisions. When a parent views his child as impaired in some way, he treats that child differently than he would if the child were considered “normal.” Therefore, because of his being treated specially while growing up, that child will have different views on certain things, including his own ability to perform tasks. For instance, if a child with asthma has been overprotected by his parents during his formative years, he will end up being much less comfortable and much more fearful doing various things, like exercising until he cannot breathe or experiencing a forgotten inhaler, than a child whose parents have acknowledged his condition and calmly showed him how to do things to take care of himself. This second set of parents will have instilled a confidence in their child causing him to feel that he knows what to do even when they are not with him. This confidence (or lack thereof) then translates in some way to every aspect of that child’s life because when he has confidence in himself and the fact that he knows what he is doing, he will carry himself differently and see life in a whole new light.
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Everything from culture to parenting to socioeconomic background helps to shape each child’s life. These aspects affect children’s development, personality, and behavior. It is important to realize what these factors are and how they influence children so we can better produce happier, healthier kids who are thriving socially, academically, and mentally.
References 
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Bernal, R. & Keane, M. P. (2011). Child care choices and children’s cognitive achievement: The case of single mothers. Journal of Labor Economics, 29(3), 459-512. 
Bridge, Sarah. (2014). Would You Let Your Children Swear at You and Cut Through Live Electrical Wires? Meet the Woman Who Believes You Should Never Say 'No' to Kids. DailyMail.com.
Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2598889/Would-let-children-stay
late-cut-wires-swear-Meet-woman-never-says-no-kids.html#ixzz5D8Su8f6R.  
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Buck, N. (2017, July 25). What Drives Kids to Act the Way They Do? Retrieved from U.S. News &
World Report: https://health.usnews.com/wellness/for-parents/articles/2017-07-25/what-
drives-kids-to-act-the-way-they-do. In her news article, What Drives Kids to Act the Way They
Do?  
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Cherry, K. (2017). Child Psychology, Explained: Context and Important Things to Consider.
Retrieved from verywell mind: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-child-psychology-
2795067. 
​
Doja, A. (2014). Socializing Enchantment: A Socio-Anthropological Approach to Infant-Directed
Singing, Music Education and Cultural Socialization. International Review of the Aesthetics and
Sociology of Music, 45(1), 115-147. 
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Figure 2. Children’s Stories | Youth Haven. (2017). [Group of children lying in grass]. Finding
Purpose.  Retrieved from http://blog.youthhaven.org/category/childrens-stories/. 
  
Figure 3. learn.create.grow. (2018). [Mother and child]. Brainstorm: Tarcher/Penguin. Retrieved
from http://www.tarcherbooks.net/tag/brainstorm/. 
Figure 4. Mother’s Day: Often a Hard Day For Victims of Child Sexual Abuse | EVIL SITS AT THE
DINNER TABLE. (2014). [Mother and child in sunset]. ordinaryevil.wordpress.com. Retrieved
from https://ordinaryevil.wordpress.com/2014/05/09/mothers-day-often-a-hard-day-for-
victims-of-child-sexual-abuse/.
 
Garcia, A., Ren, L., Esteraich, J., & Raikes, H. (2017). Influence of Child Behavioral Problems and
Parenting Stress on Parent–Child Conflict Among Low-Income Families: The moderating role
of maternal nativity. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 63(3), 311-339.  
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Mandara, J., Murray, C. B., Telesford, J. M., Varner F. A., & Richman, S.B. (2012). Observed gender
differences in African American mother-child relationships and child behavior. Family
Relations, 61(1), 129-141. 
​
Nelson, K. (2007). Young Minds in Social Worlds. Cambridge, Mass: Harvard University Press. 
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Singer, E., Doornenbal, J., & Okma, K. (2004). Why Do Children Resist or Obey Their Foster
Parents? The Inner Logic of Children's Behavior During Discipline. Child Welfare. 83(6), 581-
610.  
​
Stiefel, C. (2018). What Your Child Learns By Imitating You. Retrieved from Parents.com:
https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/what-your-child-
Study of the Child: Theories of Development (2007). [Motion Picture]. Retrieved February 13, 2018,
from http://fod.infobase.com/p_ViewVideo.aspx?xtid=43775#. 
 
National Council on Family Relations. (2011). [Table depicting behavior related to maternal
depression]. Fragile Families and Child Well-being Study. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/
stable/pdf/29789564.pdfrefreqid=search%3A85fa5ea5ba25450696b08ea5806ce72e 
 
Turney, K. (2011). Chronic and Proximate Depression Among Mothers: Implications for Child Well-
Being. Journal of Marriage and Family, 73(1), 149-163.  
Zimmerman, G. M., & Pogarsky, G. (2011). The Consequences of Parental Underestimation and
Overestimation of Youth Exposure to Violence. Journal of Marriage and Family, 73(1), 194-208.  
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[1] Nelson, K. (2007). Young Minds in Social Worlds. Cambridge, Mass: Harvard University Press, 239.
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[2] Nelson, 242.
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[3] Cherry, K. (2017). Child Psychology, Explained: Context and Important Things to Consider. Retrieved from verywell mind: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-child-psychology-2795067, 1.
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[4] Buck, N. (2017, July 25). What Drives Kids to Act the Way They Do? Retrieved from U.S. News & World Report: https://health.usnews.com/wellness/for-parents/articles/2017-07-25/what-drives-kids-to-act-the-way-they-do. In her news article, What Drives Kids to Act the Way They Do? 1 .
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[5] Cherry, 1.
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[6] Cherry, 1.
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[7] Garcia, A., Ren, L., Esteraich, J., & Raikes, H. (2017). Influence of Child Behavioral Problems and Parenting Stress on Parent–Child Conflict Among Low-Income Families: The moderating role of maternal nativity. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 63(3), 311-339, 329.
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[8] Garcia, 327.
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[9] Bridge, Sarah. (2014). Would You Let Your Children Swear at You and Cut Through Live Electrical Wires? Meet the Woman Who Believes You Should Never Say 'No' to Kids. DailyMail.com. Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2598889/Would-let-children-stay-late-cut-wires-swear-Meet-woman-never-says-no-kids.html#ixzz5D8Su8f6R
[10] Cherry, 1.
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[11] Mandara, J., Murray, C. B., Telesford, J. M., Varner F. A., & Richman, S.B. (2012). Observed gender differences in African American mother-child relationships and child behavior. Family Relations, 61(1), 129-141, 134-135.
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[12] Mandara, 134-135.
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[13] Doja, A. (2014). Socializing Enchantment: A Socio-Anthropological Approach to Infant-Directed Singing, Music Education and Cultural Socialization. International Review of the Aesthetics and Sociology of Music, 45(1), 115-147.
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[14] Bernal, R. & Keane, M. P. (2011). Child care choices and children’s cognitive achievement: The case of single mothers. Journal of Labor Economics, 29(3), 459-512, 459.
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[15] Stiefel, C. (2018). What Your Child Learns By Imitating You. Retrieved from Parents.com: https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/behavioral/what-your-child-learns-by-imitating-you/, 1.
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[16] Stiefel, 1.
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[17] Turney, K. (2011). Chronic and Proximate Depression Among Mothers: Implications for Child Well-Being. Journal of Marriage and Family, 73(1), 149-163, 149
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[18] Turney, 152-153.
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[19] Garcia, A., Ren, L., Esteraich, J., & Raikes, H. (2017). Influence of Child Behavioral Problems and Parenting Stress on Parent–Child Conflict Among Low-Income Families: The moderating role of maternal nativity. Merrill-Palmer Quarterly, 63(3), 311-339.
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[20] Singer, E., Doornenbal, J., & Okma, K. (2004). Why Do Children Resist or Obey Their Foster Parents? The Inner Logic of Children's Behavior During Discipline. Child Welfare. 83(6), 581-610, 581
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[21] Singer, 587
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[22]Hullmann, S. E., Wolfe-Christensen, C., Meyer, W. H., McNall-Knapp, R. Y., & Mullins, L. L. (2010). The relationship between parental overprotection and health-related quality of life in pediatric cancer: the mediating role of perceived child vulnerability. Quality of Life Research, 19(9), 1373-1380, 1373
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[23] Hullmann, 1379
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[24] Zimmerman, G. M., & Pogarsky, G. (2011). The Consequences of Parental Underestimation and Overestimation of Youth Exposure to Violence. Journal of Marriage and Family, 73(1), 194-208, 204
Theories of Child Development